Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

Raising A High Maintenance Child


Do you have a high maintenance child?

"Thank goodness my second child wasn't born first. I would have stopped at one child if he was my first," said a mother at a recent parenting seminar.

Many parents can relate to this sentiment. Nature has a way of evening out the score for parents. If you have an easy first born then hang on to your hat because chances are the second or third or fourth born will bring you back to reality.

Most families have one child who takes up more of a parent's time, energy and mindspace than others. These high maintenance children have all sorts of misbehaviours to keep their parents busy or in their service. They may whinge or whine to get their own way. They may interrupt you just when you have started a conversation or settled down for a chat on the telephone. They may even embarrass you in front of your friends or begin to pull the cat's tail just as you settle to breastfeed a younger sibling. They can be tearful, self-indulgent, argumentative, bossy and just plain stubborn.

And what's worse, they are often only high maintenance kids for their parents. Take them to creche', pre school or school and the demands for attention reduce dramatically. "How was she today?" you ask as you pick up your child at the end of the day. You feel crest-fallen when the adult in charge replies, "Not a problem. She was great!" But worse, you know when you get home the demands on your time and attention will begin and they won't cease until she (or you) falls asleep.

High maintenance kids are demanding, exasperating and exhausting. They also take use up your time and energy that you would like to devote to your other children. You would love to spend more time with Perfect Pete but Turbo Terry, Argumentative Aaron or Whining Willemina just keep doing those things that they do so well.

So what's the solution? What is the cure? That's a hard one. There is no magic pill for parents. Yes, some children who are diagnosed with ADHD are given a pill regularly in the form of ritolin. These little pills have become very popular over the last decade as the number of children diagnosed with ADHD has increased dramatically. Only recently have we as a community begun to question the wisdom of keeping up a supply of this drug to children. None of my children have had ADHD so I would not dare to point a finger at any parent who must live with a child with full-blown, A grade ADHD. I take my hat off to your dedication and persistence as you must develop this if you are to live with such a child.

But most high maintenance child don't fall into this category. Many just need to be weaned off their parent's attention. We become so adept at responding to these kids' misbehaviours that attending to them becomes habitual. So try breaking the habit of giving attention when they misbehave. Now that's hard. When they want your attention do something completely different. But be ready for their attention-seeking stuff to escalate. It always does. Ignore the whining and it will increase in volume. Ignore a child's constant interruptions while you are on the telephone and be prepared for an ear-splitting shriek to contend with or even a mess to clean up. It is parents who generally experience the consequences of a high maintenance's child's behaviour. That is the way of high maintenance children.

But you have to change your own way of reacting so your child doesn't get his jollies from keeping you busy with him or her. Most parents never do this because the reactionary habit is ingrained and the behaviour will escalate so we give up in the face of increased misbehaviour. Misbehaviour will generally get worse before it gets better. It is the norm when dealing with high maintenance children. That's why they are such hard work to raise. Alternatively, you can keep giving them heaps of B-grade attention when they are less than perfect and my hunch they will still grow up to be well-adjusted adults. It is just you as a parent who has a hard time of it in the meantime.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au


MORE RESOURCES:

Parenting - Google News

How SXSW Is Like Parenting - Huffington Post


Huffington Post

How SXSW Is Like Parenting
Huffington Post
Over the past two weeks, at least 70,000 people migrated to my hometown of Austin, Texas for the annual SXSW extravaganza. Having lived here for 3+ decades, I've participated in my fair share of festival activities across interactive, film and music ...

Are You Parenting From Love or From Fear? - Huffington Post


Huffington Post

Are You Parenting From Love or From Fear?
Huffington Post
Like the Dan Siegal quote that starts off every episode of the podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, says, "The best predictor of a child's well-being is a parent's self-understanding." When I finally started to carry my own baggage, I could take it off my ...

Parenting quality matters over quantity, Angelina Jolie offers an inspiring ... - Deseret News


Deseret News

Parenting quality matters over quantity, Angelina Jolie offers an inspiring ...
Deseret News
Here's our daily list of articles from across the Web about faith and family-related topics as well as our other four areas of emphasis: education, causes, media and moneywise. Some of these stories will find their way to The Pulse, a curated list of ...
Op-Ed: Thank You, Angelina Jolie, For Celebrating Our Kids Who Are 'Different' Entertainment Tonight

all 912 news articles »

Students learn about parenting from robot babies - Rochester Democrat and Chronicle


Rochester Democrat and Chronicle

Students learn about parenting from robot babies
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Conlon is one of hundreds of Rochester-area students who test their parenting skills every school year in health and child development classes by taking home a high-tech infant simulator that must be fed and burped and have its diaper changed and kept ...

Parenting study says quality time spent with kids more important than quantity - WABC-TV


WABC-TV

Parenting study says quality time spent with kids more important than quantity
WABC-TV
There is a groundbreaking new study taking a closer look at how parents spend time with their kids and revealing that quality may be more important than quantity. Finding more time to spend with children is the cause of stress and guilt for parents ...
New parenting study says quality time spent with children more important that ... 6abc.com
Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity. Washington Post
Parenting: Quality more Important than Quantity when it Comes to Spending ... WallStreet OTC

all 35 news articles »

School counselors offer parenting help - Toledo Blade


School counselors offer parenting help
Toledo Blade
Gateway Middle School counselors will hold a meeting for Maumee parents to discuss the challenges of parenting children. The meeting will cover everything from being a good role for children to communication and discipline. Counselors will help parents ...

Quality over quantity: New study brings time-squeezed parents relief - Today.com


Today.com

Quality over quantity: New study brings time-squeezed parents relief
Today.com
Those findings come as a relief to many parents, including TODAY Parenting contributor Randi Zuckerberg. “When I'm working, I absolutely feel guilt all the time,” said the New York Times bestselling author and host of "Dot Complicated" on SiriusXM. “I ...
After Daughters Act Up, Mom Turns to Facebook to Make Amends Yahoo Parenting
After her kids misbehave, Alabama mom uses social media to set things right AL.com
Mom apologizes, seeks out family after teens' 'rude' movie theater behavior KTRK-TV

all 65 news articles »

Lighthouse parenting: Giving space for kids to learn while offering safety - Philly.com (blog)


Philly.com (blog)

Lighthouse parenting: Giving space for kids to learn while offering safety
Philly.com (blog)
Philadelphia's own parenting expert Kenneth Ginsburg, MD, MSEd, has a new book, Raising Kids To Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust, which presents the strategy of "lighthouse parenting." ...

Parenting: Pile on common sense more than praise - Chicago Tribune


Parenting: Pile on common sense more than praise
Chicago Tribune
Still, I don't think it hurts to check your parenting style every now and then. Because there is a lot of advice out there, some of it fact-based, some of it theory, I asked Anne George, associate professor in the school of education at Saint Xavier ...

The Free-Range Parenting Quandary - New York Times


The Free-Range Parenting Quandary
New York Times
“The Case for Free-Range Parenting” sounds reasonable enough. But my bucolic Massachusetts suburb remains shaken by the 1985 abduction of Sarah Pryor, 9, who took a walk on a well-traveled road in front of her home and disappeared. Her body was ...

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
SuccessfulMatchCentral.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

PreLaunchX

PrimeNews Domain Is For Sale - $5,000 For Enquiries eMail Us

© www.PrimeNews.biz - 2012

home | site map | links